OK, so I’ve been in Phuket for about 36 hours, admittedly not long enough to see the whole island, but I’ve been doing my best to find what is noteworthy about this place and why so many people come here. I’ve come up dry. Let me back up . . .
The flight here from Chaing Mai was long. Phuket is in the south and Chiang Mai (where I was flying from) is in the north of this long narrow country so I had much ground to cover to get here. I also had a short layover in Bangkok and when I got on the flight from Bangkok it was overrun with French tourists (not my favorite people to bump into on vacation). I’ve been seeing a lot of French people all over this country and decided to investigate the link between these countries. The abbreviated history that I was able to glean is: 17th century - The French try to colonize Thailand (then Siam) as they’ve done in neighboring Laos and Cambodia but fail. 19th century - France pushes to colonize the country again and war breaks out. This time France wins some ground and expands their presence in Indochina to include regions of Thailand. 1940-41 - When WW II starts, Thailand sees the opportunity to regain lost territories from now weakened France. Germany and Japan come to their aid. They win. It seems to me that the Thai would want no part of the French who have repeatedly battled with them over they years but tourist dollars are tourist dollars, I suppose.
Anyway, I landed late (11:30 pm) and hadn’t done a lot of research so was surprised to get in the cab and drive for close to 45 minutes before reaching my hotel. All the while I watched the meter click up and up (I’d heard that taxis on this part of Thailand were a rip off) and when I finally got out, the ride cost me nearly $30. Ok, in San Francisco that ride would have cost me 2 or 3 times as much but this is Thailand. In Bangkok or Chaing Mai that would have $15. I felt ripped off. At checkin they had me fill out a bunch of forms that I hadn’t had to fill out at other hotels. Multiple people asked me for my departing flight number (I don’t have one - I’m taking a boat to my next port of call) and I found this insistence on establishing the details of my departure just minutes after my arrival to be rude and irritating. By the time they put me in the shuttle to my room (this resort is like a mini San Francisco - up and down a bunch of steep hills so they shuttle you to your room) I was fit to be tied. I didn’t tip the bellman (I regretted this the next day). My heart was beating fast and I felt like I couldn’t get enough air in my lungs. I considered taking a Xanax. But instead I downed the 2 cans of Singha in the minibar and went to bed.
The next morning I woke up early to get in some pool time before taking the free hotel shuttle into town. The free shuttle goes into town once a day at 11am. And it doesn’t go into “town” exactly. It drops you at a hideous western-style shopping mall on the outskirts of town (the hotel no doubt receives kickbacks for this). My plan was to take a taxi from there (still cheaper than carfare from the hotel). But the shuttle was full (of French tourists). They’d neglected to tell me when I’d checked in that you need to book the shuttle in advance (probably because they were so focused on finding out when and how I’d be leaving three days later). They waited for all the passengers to board then realized there was one spot left in the front. The guy sitting there moved over to the hump seat (looking decidedly less than thrilled) and I climbed in. After a bumpy 30 minute ride (the poor schlock next to me kept hitting his head on the ceiling and wincing a bit with every jolt) we arrived. I got off the van and spotted a public bus parked ahead. I ran and jumped in the back. Public buses in Phuket are fun. They look like vehicles you’d use to move day laborers around your farm. They’re open on the back, open on the sides, and passengers sit on benches running the length of each side (one of many things common in Thailand that would never pass code in the US). I didn’t know where the bus was headed but as it pulled away from the shopping mall and the bewildered French people who’d just been dropped there from the hotel I thought “sianara suckers.” The bus wound it’s way through narrow, crowded streets until it reached the downtown district where my cooking class would begin in 2 hours. The driver asked me for 50 cents and I descended.
When I stood on the busy street and opened my honking tourist map a man approached me and told me where I should go - he recommended a local market where I could shop and eat like a Thai person. He offered to chauffeur me around for the next 2 hours for $2. I accepted. I’ve been doing a lot of things in this country that I wouldn’t do at home - hop in cars with total strangers, ride on scooters through streets with seemingly few traffic laws (more on that later) but I’ve felt safe all the while. He took me to the Expo and said he’d back in 45 minutes to take me to my next destination. I entered the market hopefully, unprepared for what I’d see. It was indeed, as promised, a place where Thai people shop. There were a bunch of stalls up and down the halls of this indoor market filled with clothing shoes, underwear, phone accessories, handbags . . . it was interesting to see (the average price of a garment here was $3) but not the kind of shopping I was looking to do. I spotted a set of doors and made a beeline for the exit. But as I approached the exit I saw a black creature scurry between racks at the lingerie shop and I nearly jumped into the arms of a passerby (a tiny elderly man who I most certainly would have crushed). The second rat I’ve encountered in Thailand. I regained my composure and headed outside. I wanted to grab a quick bit before my class and the street food didn’t look appealing. I headed to a nondescript restaurant across the street called “Uptown.” It was nearly full with Thais, not a westerner in site. I took this to be a good sign and ordered the red chicken curry. As I’ve said before, every curry I’ve had here has been unique. This one was kind of sweet, not too saucy, and served with red bell peppers (a nice touch). I was impressed. I would later read in my guidebook that this is one of the most popular restaurants in town among locals.
I decided to head to cooking class early to explore the grounds so my ad-hoc tour guide dropped me off there. As soon as I arrived I was overcome by reverence. I have dreamed for years of coming to this place. The Blue Elephant cooking school is the reason I came to Thailand at all. It’s a dream that began so many years ago in Paris, when eating at the Blue Elephant restaurant was a much needed sanctuary from the overbearing Frenchness of everything. I couldn’t believe I was standing of the lawn of this former governor’s mansion and was about to learn to cook like a Blue Elephant chef. Inside, I took some photos of the famed “blue bar” (a long swanky bar backlit by blue light) and one of chef instructors milling about. The four of us there for cooking class moved into the learning kitchen, got our aprons and recipe books, and met our chef instructor. She was friendly enough but I disappointed to learn that she’d spent many of her childhood years in Orange County, CA. The lilt in her voice was more valley girl than Thai. And she launched right into recipe preparation without explaining the array of ingredients that make Thai cooking so unique or the history of the dishes we were about to prepare.
She cooked the first dish - chicken satay, we tasted it, then we were basically left alone to follow the recipe and make our own versions. This drill was repeated for crispy fried fish with sweet and sour sauce, thai noodle salad with chicken and shrimp, yellow curry with beef, and steamed banana cake. When it was all finished we adjourned to the front porch of the restaurant, overlooking the garden, where we were served the food we’d prepared. I was disappointed, a little crestfallen almost, that the lesson had imparted no true knowledge of Thai cuisine. I had a few tasty dishes to show for it but if I hadn’t already learned the secret of great curry at the Chaing Mai school, I probably would have burned the place to the ground. Over the meal I had a nice chat with a young couple from Chicago who had come to Phuket on their honeymoon. They were real foodies who’d eaten at some of the world’s best restaurants and when I told them I’d be going to Nahm in Bangkok on my last night, they informed me that it was the best meal they’d ever eaten, that it was recently rated the #1 restaurant in all of Asia, and that it was the first Thai restaurant in the world to be awarded a Michelin star (this last part I knew). We ate and said our goodbyes and I wandered back through an open air market where purveyors were beginning to fry up street food for dinner to the bus stop. I had heard the last bus to my part of the island ran at 5:30 and it was 5:45.
As I looked around for the bus (which I suspected had already left) I was approached by a taxi driver who offered to take me back to the hotel for 300 Bhat ($10). Pretty reasonable for these parts. I followed him to his vehicle which turned out to me a small moped. I hesitated. I had 3 bags - one filled with leftovers from Blue Elephant, one with my camera, and one large handbag. The driver assured me he would find space for them on the tiny moped. I thought about the accident I’d seen just a few days earlier in Chaing Mai - a moped driver had been hit by a car while making a right turn. We’d seen it happen as we were driving back to town from our cooking lesson and as we passed we noticed that the injured moped driver had a compound fracture - his shin bone was protruding from a hole in his pants. But the driver assured me it was safe and handed me a pink helmet. I hopped on. The ride back was surprisingly fun. It was rush hour and the streets were packed with cars and moped and bicycles weaving around through unmarked lanes. In the distance I saw the “big buddha” one of the main attractions in these big parts. As the name implies - it’s a giant statue of buddha on the top of a hill and as we rode by it was backlit by the setting sun (I wish I’d had the nerve to whip out my camera and take a shot but both hands were passing holding on for dear life). At one red light my driver struck up a conversation with the guy driving the moped next to us. I had no idea if they knew each other or if this was just the kind of thing you did when you stopped at a red light but I couldn’t believe that this guy was carting his whole family on that bike. His young son sat in front of him, secured by the driver’s arms and legs, his young daughter sat behind him, secured by the arms of legs of mom who sat at the back. A practical if perilous way to get around.
Back at the homestead my plan to spend the evening updating my blog was foiled by internet connectivity issues (not a rare occurrence here) so I went to the lobby and checked out a DVD from their collection of aged American block busters. I laid on my bed and ate my Blue Elephant leftovers as Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp galavanted through Venice, dodging mobsters and the police in The Tourist. The day hadn't been without highlights but overall, it proved the most disappointing day in my Thai adventure thus far. I decided to stop searching for the soul of Phuket and spend tomorrow lounging on the beach. A day in Phuket, I decided, still beats a day at the office hands down. But there are far better places to be out of the office - I know because I’ve seen so many of them on this trip. Adieu Phuket. After tomorrow we will part ways and I do not intend to come this way again.
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